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Transcript

Boundaries Without Blame

Supervisory care, soft→hard escalation, receiving limits well

--Media Links-- • Website: delvepsych.com • Instagram: @delvepsychchicago • YouTube: youtube.com/@DelvePsych20 • Substack: delvepsych.substack.com

--Participants--Hosts: Ali McGarel, Adam Fominaya

--Overview of Big Ideas--• Scale care via supervision and culturally grounded providers (“task-sharing”), not just 1:1 therapy.• Boundaries aren’t cudgels: start soft, escalate only as needed; focus on your choices, goals, and values.• Input vs output boundaries; how to receive a boundary without shame or counterattack.• Identity threat & the “narcissism of small differences”: resist hyper-focusing on trivial divergences.

--Breakdown of Segments--• 00:00 — Intro; global listeners; why supervision scales care.• 05:00 — Task-sharing model; ethics, culture, and burnout realities.• 10:00 — “Weaponizing” boundaries vs owning your choices.• 15:00 — Example: Nicola & Ivan; drop demands, name needs.• 20:00 — Input vs output boundaries; soft vs hard styles.• 29:00 — Escalation ladder; minimize defensiveness.• 40:00 — Fairness to both sides; repair and care.• 45:00 — Role-play: chronic lateness; negotiate, then decide.• 55:00 — Quote + “narcissism of small differences”; zoom out to common ground.

--Key Takeaways--• Start soft; escalate only if necessary.• Boundaries = your decisions, not their indictments.• Before hard talks: regulate, plan, anticipate triggers.• Receiving a boundary? De-personalize; seek understanding, not vindication.

--Notable Quotes--• “Drop the demand; hold truer to the need.”• “If you look for differences, you will find them.”

--Action Steps--• Illinois: inquire for therapy; sliding scale and (at recording) one pro-bono slot.• Anywhere: follow Substack + podcast for ongoing skills.

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