I frequently hear sentiments along the lines of “once I get that job” or “once I find a partner,” then I’ll be happy. I suppose it isn’t always stated that explicitly. It’s usually more that a client will share that their lack of having a job or a partner, or a this that or the other, is the cause of their unhappiness.
I’d like to ask us all to flip this in our minds. Not having isn’t the source of struggle, it is the beginning of living. What do you do once you have everything? What exactly is a life replete with all gifts and opportunities? It sounds nice on paper, but quite frequently this very life is as much (or more) of a struggle than the one without such riches.
Lathan in 2009 outlines some high profile cases of substance abuse and death by OD amongst celebrities (including those in the 27-club) who did have all the money and fame they might have needed. Yarley in 2025 outlined frequent experiences amongst ultra-high-net-earners with both anxious and depressive-like symptoms and urged for a reimagining of well-being beyond material success.
Our typical discourse suggests wealth, fame and material earnings are the path to success. I think it might accidentally leave us in a state in which we really don’t have anything to do. Simultaneously, a struggle is so often framed as a profoundly negative thing in one’s life, but retrospectively these struggles are often the source of great pride, wisdom and growth. I think struggle might accidentally leave us in a state where we frequently have purpose-linked things to do.
Doing things in life will necessitate struggle and there’s no way out of that. The evidence suggests that getting all the things you could ever need is no salve for the deep struggle we will continue to have with ourselves to find meaning, purpose, and intention in daily life. I think as much as struggle is unpleasant, I beseech you to see its value rather than lament its bruising.
Having everything won’t make you happy. Having something to do that you care about… that might do the trick.
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